


Lovers Bruises

by DysphoricDom



Category: My Chemical Romance, frerard - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Coming Out, Dirty Talk, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 22:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16901325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DysphoricDom/pseuds/DysphoricDom
Summary: "You gotta make up your mind Gerard. I'm done pretending and lying, okay? Don't drag me back into the closet just 'cause you're too much of a chicken to be yourself- You're such a hypocrite, you know that? Telling all those kids who worship you that they shouldn't be ashamed of who they are, to not care about other people say and all that bullshit. If only they knew you are embarrassed of being gay and having a fucking boyfriend. You are all talk and no walk Gerard Way" As Frank finishes speaking -well, shouting actually- his breathing is uneven and his face is tear stained. His fists are clenched and he's shaking from anger, he has never been this mad in his entire life but it was the truth, he couldn't take this anymore"





	Lovers Bruises

They had just finished playing a show, it was amazing as usual but Frank seemed a little out of it. Now the guys were in the backstage eating some pizza, it was one of those gigs where they got great food and everyone was super happy about it, still Frank didn't seem to interested on the first proper meal they had in weeks. When Ray and Mikey started talking about a new song and Bob was too high to care about anything Frank finally decided to stop being a little bitch and go talk to Gerard. He walked to the other side of the small dim-lit room and sat by his... whatever he was. That was the topic at hand, he wanted to let people know, at least the guys, but he knew Gerard wouldn't be too eager "Hey Gee. Can we go out for a smoke or whatever? I need to talk to you. In private" he said, worrying on his lower lip as he fidgeted with the hem of his last almost clean shirt, they seriously needed to get that shit dry cleaned or whatever, the van was starting to smell.

 

Gerard looked over at the smaller man suspiciously before taking him up on his offer and standing, grabbing the pack of Camel cigarettes that lay in front of him. Mikey glanced over at his band mates and gestured to the pizza layed out in an array of deliciousness. "You're gonna miss out on pizza?" He asked, pushing the loose hair out of his face. Gerard held up the pack of cigarettes and snapped his fingers, asking for a lighter. Mikey threw a green lighter to him, still a bit suspicious on why neither Gerard nor Frank were eating. Gerard adjusted the fabric on his button up shirt and looked at Frank once more.  
"You ready?" He asked, taking a cigarette from the pack and placing it in his mouth. He almost couldn't wait till they got outside, his nicotine addiction making it hard to go even one show without the intoxicating smoke filling his lungs.

Frank patted back pocket to check if the pack of lucky strike mentol cigarettes was still there and nodded when he easily felt it through the skin tight jeans. Sometimes he hated those things, they were women's cut and he couldn't fit shit in those pockets, not to mention the crotch area didn't help leaving much to the imagination. He liked that though. "Yeah, let's go" he replied and tried to give him a smile, only managing an upwards tug of the corner of his mouth, which looked pretty fucking fake to anyone who knew him. 

Once they were outside Frank lit his 'pansy cigarette', as Bob called them, and looked around to check if they were alone. Honestly he didn't want to have this conversation. At all. But he just couldn't take it anymore, everyone seemed to try and get in Gerard's pants or set him up with someone who wanted to get in his pants these days. "So... Um... I'll just get to the point here. I wanna stop hiding this. Us, I mean. Even if we just tell the boys at first, I can't keep this shit up anymore Gerard."

Gerard took a breath of his cigarette, sighing softly before letting the smoke roll off his lips and into the cold air. He didnt bother looking at Frank, knowing this conversation would come up sooner or later.   
"Absolutely not," He said without thinking. He already made up his mind about this.. Whatever you call it. Relationship? Nights spent in the tour bus cuddling, praying to whatever higher being is out there, that the other band members sleeping just feet away wouldn't wake up. Kisses shared in dressing rooms and sex in hotel rooms.. Was this a real relationship? Gerard let the thoughts flood his mind before taking another breath of his cigarette, looking over at Frank's hurt expression.

"Look, if I've said it once I've said it a million times, I love you. I'd take a bullet for you in a heartbeat and I'm not ashamed of that. We already kiss and do all that stuff on stage, no one is weirded out by it, not even the fans, why do you insist on lying about it?" Frank took a long drag of his cigarette as walked over to face Gerard "I can't take it anymore Gee. I'm not saying we gotta do a press conference and tell the world about us, all I want is to be able to be open about it in front of our friends and family unless..." he paused for a moment, biting his lower lip to keep it from trembling "Unless you're ashamed of being with me or you're just using me for sex" he couldn't look up at Gerard so Frank just stared at his feet, the side of his hair that wasn't shaved doing a really sucky job at covering his face.

Gerard placed his hand on Frank's cheek, stroking it with his thumb.   
"I love you too.." He replied, trying to avoid hurting Frank, "I just don't think the time is right." Gerard pushed some stray hair out of his own face and watched Frank's expression for a moment. "I'm not ashamed of you," he backtracked, "But I don't understand why everyone has to know about.. This. I like it just the way it is, without anyone having to know about our personal life." Gerard ruffled Frank's hair and took another breath of his cigarette. "I'm sorry to dissapoint you." He ended his statement on. He leaned in for a small kiss, running his hand from Frank's face to his shoulder.

Frank looked up and slapped Gerard's hand away "no, you won't get away with this shit anymore Gerard. I'm sick of you lying and using pretty words to keep me around while you go out on dates with random chicks. We either do it right or we don't do it at all. Grow a pair and own up to the shit you do" he said, all but spitting the words in Gerard's face. "You gotta make up your mind Gerard. I'm done pretending and lying, okay? Don't drag me back into the closet just 'cause you're too much of a chicken to be yourself- You're such a hypocrite, you know that? Telling all those kids who worship you that they shouldn't be ashamed of who they are, to not care about other people say and all that bullshit. If only they knew you are embarrassed of being /gay/ and having a fucking /boyfriend/. You are all talk and no walk Gerard Way" As Frank finishes speaking -well, shouting actually- his breathing is uneven and his face is tear stained. His fists are clenched and he's shaking from anger, he has never been this mad in his entire life but it was the truth, he couldn't take this anymore and if Gerard couldn't compromise then they were over.

Gerard, wide eyed and surprised, dropped his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it. He looked back up to frank and sighed, too tired to respond with the same passion Frank had just showed him.  
"You're right. I am a hypocrite. Aren't we all?" He left it at that and stood there, watching the smaller man in front of him and admiring how his features glowed in the moonlight. Frank's perfectly shaped lips moving with every thought out word he said, light stubble complementing his jawline. It was enough to make Gerard melt, though he would never admit that, his feelings kept in a safe inside of him, a safe locked with memories of being betrayed, bullied, beaten, and emotionally destroyed by the ones he trusted.

"That's all you have to say for yourself? Really?" Frank took a deep breath and looked the singer in the eye. Those beautiful hazel eyes that turned his bones into jelly and made his heart do back flips. The eyes he loved so much. The same eyes that lied to him a million times. "Fine. We're done Gerard. Whatever this was for you, it's over." he said finally and walked past him back into the building, plopping down on the couch next to Mikey "Gimme that beer, I wanna forget my own name tonight." Ray and Mikey looked at each other knowingly, Frank was transparent like that, but they decided not to ask right now.

Gerard watched Frank's actions for a moment before following him into the building and stopping at the doorway of the room the band was staying in. Gerard didn't make any sort of facial expressions, he knew what he was about to do probably wouldnt save anything between him and Frank, but God damnit, he was gonna try. He cleared his throat loudly, gathering the attention of his best friends who had been there for him from the start. He wasn't worried about their reaction, he was more worried about Frank's.   
"I have an announcement," He said boldly, running a hand through his matted hair, "I just thought I would let you know that Frank and I are.." He struggled over what to call the nature of their relationship, "Dating," He finally let the words loose, and thought he felt tension in the air

Mikey gave an unimpressed hum and took a sip of his beer "Yeah, what's new?" Bob raised his head only to slur some barely intelligible words out "e'vry body knows man." Ray just nodded and went back to talking to Mikey about whatever topic was more interesting than Gerard Way's love life. Meanwhile Frank just sat there with the most outraged look on his face. Gerard just told everyone they were dating right after he broke up with him. Frank waited two years for that moment and right now all he could think of was how much of a dick Gerard was. He stood up and walked over to their band's front man not thinking twice before giving him a shiner. He'd have to wear a lot of make up to cover that now. Ha. "Fuck you Gerard" he said and stormed out, leaving the boys surprised. "Now that's what's new" Mikey said and nodded in approval before adding"he's right y'know, you're a dick Gee but you still should go after him. Frank has tiny legs, he can't have gotten too far"

Gerard groaned and covered the one side of his face with his hand, trying to ease the pain.  
"Damn it Frank!" He shouted before running after him, not listening to Mikey's words. He caught up with Frank, not before falling on the pavement due to the blurry vision in his left eye. Gerard grabbed Frank by the shoulder and pulled him back, looking him in the eyes "They already knew, so what the fuck was this for!?" Gerard shouted at Frank, trying his damnedest to be angry and upset, but deep down he knew he deserved it. He scanned Frank's face for any sign of a care in the world that the skin around his eye was swelling and turning purple.

 

"That was for being a fucking bastard! You want another one to match?! I fucking gave you every chance in the world to make this right! If only I knew all I had to do was break up with you, right?! Well I'm not a manipulative guilt tripping hypocrite like someone here!" Frank shouted, slapping Gerard's hand away again and taking a couple steps away from him. He looked hurt and heartbroken. He didn't regret punching Gerard but he hated the fact that he was physically hurt. Mostly he hated the fact that he inflicted pain upon the love of his life. He just wanted to kiss that fucking stupid and adorable face of his but at the same time he wanted to disembowel him. Feelings are confusing like that. "Why now Gerard? You had two years to do that, why now?" Frank asked after a while, his voice now barely there. His eyes were burning but he didn't want to cry in front of Gerard again.

Gerard tried to think of an answer suitable for this. He tried to make up another excuse in his head, but he couldn't. There was no excuse for how he'd treated Frank.   
"I don't know, Frankie. I guess I was just afraid. Afraid of their reactions, afraid to let someone else know about 'our little secret'" Gerard paused for a moment, trying to pick out the best words, over thinking everything. "I loved you from the moment we first kissed in Jersey, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, then something changed. I don't know if it was our fan base growing.. I don't know if it was just my head going wild again. I wanted to keep this as a secret because of all the hate. You and I both know that there will be death threats over this relationship. People are crazy.." He trailed off, mumbling more and trying to make sense of what was going on in his own head. Gerard stopped and looked at before embracing him in an affectionate hug. He knew this wasn't a great apology, but he was trying his hardest.

"You suck you know that?" he said quietly, wrapping his arms around Gerard's torso. He sniffled and closed his eyes, frowning a bit as he nuzzled Gerard's shoulder "I love you, I don't care about crazy people, okay? Isn't that the point of the band? Fighting the good fight against the hate? And I don't need everyone to know, let's just not make a big deal out of it and be ourselves. Stuff will happen when it has to. Someday everyone will know, they'll realize it like the guys did, but until then we can just be a real couple and stop lying, okay?" Frank was scared shitless right now, Gerard was a very unpredictable person, he just hoped he wouldn't change his mind about this. Ever. "Also, stop going out with random chicks okay? It sucks balls"

Gerard smiled and whispered in Frank's ear, knowing that it would give him chills.  
"That only happens when I'm drunk or high, shortie, but I'll do my best to stay loyal to you." He pulled away from the hug and grabbed Frank's hand, running his thumb over his boney knuckles. "What are we gonna tell the guys? You sure as hell know that they'll tease us when we get back, right?" Gerard sighed and thought for a moment. He could just imagine Ray's comments when they walked back into the building together. "Oh, did the little couple kissey kissey and make up?" He would say in an obnoxiously high voice, cackling after, the rest of boys following his actions.

"You're usually both drunk and high you fucktard" he snickered, trying to hide the way all the hairs in his body stood up when Gerard talked like that. He was such a jerk but he was /Frank's/ jerk and that's what mattered. "Maybe we should suck face in front of them and scar Mikey for life. We could, like, moan really loud and start tearing our clothes off, that'd definitely get the point across" Frank said, pulling away slightly and smirking mischievously. "Then once they left the room you could fuck me against the wall or whatever. I'll make sure to be extra loud for 'ya"

Gerard smirked and looked over Frank.   
"Since when do you have such good, but twisted ideas?"


End file.
